Don't You Even Dare Fuck With Me!

[rod stewart]

i know you think you are smart and witty but believe me, you are not? if you even dare fuck with me, i will make you look like the fuckin' idiot you truly are. now go on, talk amongst yourselves losers.

[D.A.R.Y.L.]

...a pirate walks into a pub. As he struts into the establishment the bartender notices a large steering wheel protruding from the front of his trousers. The pirate grabs a stool near the end of the bar. Just as he begins to sit down, the bartender shrieks: "Oi! You gotta steering wheel down the front 'yer pants!" The pirate replies: "Aargh! Its drivin' me nuts!"



d.a.r.y.l.

[tinobeat]

A guy walks into the psychiatrist's office, and he's wearing nothing save for being wrapped completely in Saran Wrap.

He says "Doc, what do you think is wrong with me?"

Doctor sez, "Well I can clearly see your nuts..."

[george]

what is the difference between michael jackson and neil armstrong?

neil armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon; michael jackson fucks little boys.

[joy of division]

Man, this rod dude is everywhere.
Why do brides wear white?
So the dishwasher could match the stove and the fridge.